Dear Ryan Seacrest,

You are a machine.  The world knows that you are a host that talks eloquently and straightforward, and never lets anything frustrate you, but you need to remember something.  Yes, you do work with a guy that believes that everyone is a “dog” and that the beginning of every song stinks, but it gets better as time goes on.  And you do work with a woman who is as normal as Michael Jackson on mushrooms and sports the vocabulary of my 6 year old nephew.  Not to mention a grumpy, mean talent finder.

But your problem is that that grumpy, mean talent finder is your boss.  He’s the guy who made you, Kelly Clarkson, Daughtry, and even William Hung very famous, and a whole lot of money.

So why do you constantly crack on the guy? Like tonight, when you rapped on him about his lack of intimacy and a few other blunders, is this a ploy to get more ratings, to get more laughs, or to get more people to like you better than him?  I can only guess that Simon’s talented mind has put you and Randy and Paula up to cracking on him throughout the show in order to create conflict, because the truth is, there is no doubt, that none of you would be anywhere near as popular as you are, if it were not for Simon Cowell.

Constantly my friends rant about how horrible he is to people and how tactless he is, and I wonder if they have seen how their fave celebs will be treated and criticized and used up by the media.  Is Simon really so bad, or is he really the only one preparing them for what their future may be anyway?

So Mr. Secrest, before you lay your head down on your pillow tonight, I think you should either pick up your telephone and call Simon right now, apologizing to him for mistreating him if you did it on your own, or thanking him for giving you a chance you may never have gotten, if he put you up to the “Simon Slams.”  Either way, American Idol would be another faded, washed up reality show without him.


Marty Holman

p.s.  I voted for David Cook tonight


The SEC and the Mac

February 27, 2008

Last night watching American Idol, like many of you did, I came upon this commercial about the Macbook Air:

I started thinking about all the Mac products, of which I only own an ipod, and the genius of the products and marketing.  You’re probably already thought or read about what the Mac is doing right, but I thought I’d offer my two-sense this morning in looking back, not only at this commercial, but at all the products they are putting out now.

I’ll use the SEC to help me out as I explain what I like about their product marketing.

S = Simple
This is the genius of today’s best marketing ads, and there’s probably nobody better than Mac.  With the letter i, they have transformed culture. 
They all work together with amazing consonance, yet each of them are simple, and easy-to-use.  This process not only occurs in their products, but in their marketing as well. The shape of a woman dancing and listening to headphones in vibrant color.  A cool “regular joe” on the same white screen with a big nerd, while the whole world watches on.

So simple, yet so genius.

The only complaint I’ve heard is by my friend Clay who spent almost a half hour of my life once telling me the evils of itunes not being compatible with other music programs, so you pay for the music, but only as long as your computer of mp3 player exists.  But that’s another argument.

E = Excellence
To be quite honest, I have yet to see a bad Mac commercial.  If you have, feel free to let me know, but as of yet, I haven’t seen it.  And while I’m sure that someone reading this has bought some sort of faulty equipment from Apple, as a rule, I’ve heard only good things about Mac products, from the Ipod to the IMac to the IRack

C = Coolative (this word makes me thirsty)
The design on Mac products are the stuff of greatness as well.  If it wasn’t, everyone, churches included, wouldn’t be following Mac’s as if they were gods.  So I’ve made up this word that explains the C and of course mixes up two other words.

Cool.  Mac is cool.  It’s the cool of today.  Tomorrow something better could and will come along, but today – today it’s the coolest.  It’s so cool by the way, it reminds me of that skit that Eddie Murphy did back in the 80’s when the cabbage patch kids were so “cool”. He played “Mr Robinson’s Neighborhood” and he was trying to sell a doll for $50 by taking the babys head off and sticking a head of cabbage on the doll.
Feel free to stick a once bitten apple on your computer and make a million!

Creative. There’s something about the Mac products and commercials that are cool, but one of the reasons that is true is because everytime I see one, it not only is the product of today, but it presents itself as the product of tomorrow.  Polished.  Shiny.  Retro. Slim.  Yet Simple.  These things are not just today’s products, but they look like tomorrow’s too, as can be witnessed by the commercial above.

I’m certainly not a marketing genius, and I don’t own stock in Apple either.  I’ve just become a fan over the last 5 years of things simple, excellent, and coolative.  Can you blame me?

I’m also going to try to post this blog on Randy Elrod’s Watercooler Wedneday.  never done it before, but it seems pretty interesting!

Until next time…